Sunday, May 24, 2009

Flags, Flowers and Headstones

You may know that I am a different kind of person.  I like things that most people my age don't care for.  I like being unique!

For as long as I can remember, I have had a special connection with my ancestors.  I remember my mother had a huge white Book of Remembrance stored under her bed.  I remember heading into her room, pulling out the enormous book and looking at all the pictures.  I knew from an early age that they were a part of me and I loved that!

MaryAnn Stockdale Carter Martin

So naturally, one of my favorite holidays is Memorial Day.  A day that I remember looking forward to as a child.  I loved loading up the flowers and heading to the cemetery to see, remember and pay respect to my beloved ancestors. 

This year we headed out on Saturday in order to miss the upcoming storms.  Livy helped Grandma in her garden cutting flowers to adorn the headstones.  Last Memorial Day, I wrote about how we put together flowers to be placed for several dozen people.  You can find the post here.

Livy placing flowers on a headstone with Grandma.

Livy and I getting water for the flowers.   I spent a great deal of time reminding Livy not to sit or walk on the headstones.  It is very disrespectful!

We make sure to always place a flag on every ancestor who served in the military.    Someday I would love to travel to the east coast and find the graves of my ancestors that served in the American Revolution and Civil War and give them flags.  Here, my ancestors served in the Spanish American War, Black Hawk War, WWI and WWII.


Livy was very excited to put the flags on several headstones.


For several years after we leave one particular cemetery, we always wish that we had taken supplies to clean the headstones.  Many have been covered with grass, leaves or debris. This year was finally the year to fulfill that family service project.  With shovels and weed wackers in hand, we cleaned up 4 headstones in much need. This was no easy task!  We are hoping to learn how to properly clean the stone.


Eduardo scraping away at the over grown grass.

This headstone had sunk with time, but looks one hundred times better now that the grass has been cleaned around it.


A few tips to remember on your next trip to the cemetery:

*Sitting, standing or walking on the headstones is VERY disrespectful!  Don't do it and teach little ones to show that respect as well.
*Cemeteries are quiet places.  Keep the noise to a minimum.  No shouting, horsing around or playing games.
*Don't bring the family dog.  I can see if you are the jogger who prefers the quiet of the cemetery, but please do not let the dog defecate on the headstones or grass.  
* Some containers work better for flowers.  We have learned that plastic simply doesn't work and glass is usually best.  Many cemeteries will leave Memorial Day decorations up until the Monday following Memorial Day.  If you choose, you can go back and collect flags, decorations or flowers that adorned YOUR families headstones. 
*Do not take anything that doesn't belong to you.  There was a man accused a few years ago from taking the permanent bronze or metal vases and selling them.  Ending to the story is that he is serving time for it!

6 comments:

  1. That is very neat to do every year and teach Livy the importance to memorial day! Just Curious...what cemetary are you at? It looks like the same one my Grandparents are at.

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  2. I grew up visiting cemeteries and I really enjoy it. It was something my family and relatives did and we would sit and reminisce about that person or my grandparents would tell stories of my ancestors. The last time we went with my family was about 4 years ago, Ethan was almost crushed by a tombstone that wasn't stable on its base. By some miraculous reason Ethan was okay after the 200 plus tombstone landed on his chest down to his feet. We do want to continue this tradition but for now while the kids are young, we don't want another ER visit on Memorial weekend.

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  3. Dear Nicol
    It was nice reading your article. Here what I read this morning in the newspaper. It might interest you:
    At the American Military Cemetary in Hamm, Luxembourg they also celebratd two days before the official Memorial Day in the USA. On the cementary are 5076 tompstones for soldiers which died during WWII in Luxembourg. A dozen survived soldiers came from the USA to Luxembourg to celebrate in Luxembourg. The American amabassdor in Luxembourg, Ann L. Wagner, recalled about the 19000 people which died during the the battle in the Ardennes (one of the most important ones in this region, during WWII,http://www.nat-military-museum.lu/). The Granddaughter of General Patton was also in Luxembourg, thinking about her Grandfather and laying flowers on his tomb ....

    Greetings from Luxembourg

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  4. That is so great. Now I'm feeling a little guilty that we went appliance shopping on Memorial Day. I don't know how you make time for genealogy, but I think it's great. You've really got your priorities right.

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  5. The headstones and cemetery looks well kept, and teaching your children this early is brillant.

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  6. We just buried my father-in-law yesterday 10/22/10. Some of his family was there and were standing on nearby headstones. I told them that it was very disrespectful but all I got was "they are dead anyway!" I couldn't believe how disrespectful one of his son's girlfriends and another son were. We are not talking about teenagers either. These people are in their late 20's to late 50's! At least MY children know better.

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