Sunday, March 7, 2010

An Update of Sorts

I have thoughts about blogging, but I can't seem to find a moment of clear thought to do it. Life hasn't exactly been perfect now. I am attempting to function most days on only 2 to 4 hours of sleep. After pregnancy and waking several times in the night to a 4 month old baby that doesn't let me sleep, I am a zombie. I am lucky to remember to brush my teeth. (Honestly there have been a few times where I am driving somewhere and realize just that, I forgot to brush. Thank goodness for gum until I get home!)

At this exact moment I am listening to my baby "cry it out". After a horrible night where she needed me to sooth her back to sleep every 30 to 45 minutes, I decided it's time to truly sleep train her. A few weeks ago a let her cry herself asleep with a nap and for a while nap time was great. Bedtime wasn't so great for the mere fact that I nurse her before laying her down. By the time she's finished eating she is asleep and therefore thinks she needs to nurse to sleep. Tonight after a bowl of rice cereal with pears and a warm lavender bath, I sent her to bed without nursing. It hurts listening to her cry out for me, needing me to sooth her. I keep telling myself that this will last only a short time and we will both be happier in the long run. I hope it's true!



Lucy hates solids! Don't let that cute picture of her after her first bowl of rice cereal fool you. Every day no matter what foods I introduce to her (new or old) she pulls such faces that I can only interpret as "what are you doing to me!" and "But Mom, this isn't you!" I can't believe how different Lucy is from Olivia.

(There has been several moments of silence after listening to screaming for 41 minutes. Please let her be asleep and stay asleep! )

In good news, I have tried very hard to stay true to my commitment to workout and eat better. It's paying off! Today at church I had at least 3 people stop me and tell me that I was looking really good. That feels great! But what is even better is that today I wore a size 8 to church. I was beaming inside from the thought that almost my entire wardrobe has opened up to me again. I have lost all of the pregnancy weight and met that first mini goal a few weeks ago. I'm working on losing the weight I gained from my move a little over a year ago. I know I can do it!

My sweet husband has painted one of the bedrooms downstairs for my craft room and I started to move into it yesterday. I can't wait to have it set up so I can explore my creative side. It's been too long since I've been able to. The only hard thing now is trying to organize everything. I am turning to my decoration and organizing ideas for some inspiration. It will be a while until I have it up and running. I need a few good nights of sleep (because that is where I tend to think of design) and hope to get a certain sewing table that I regret giving away 6 years ago to really make a wonderful craft room.

My other goals that I have set for the year are not going as strong as I would like, but I think the sleep or lack thereof has something to do about that. I still sit down every Sunday and think of what things can I work on this coming week. I have made several new good habits and hope to do more.

Honestly what everything boils down to is me getting enough sleep. I don't mind getting up once or even twice at this point (in the future I look forward to not getting up at all!). I know once I am getting more sleep and perhaps caught up on missing sleep, I can start to work on the HUGE list of projects I have and begin on the thoughts swimming in my head. I like to be busy and at the end of the day I like to have accomplished something.

Hopefully soon Lucy will allow this to be a reality and I can share with you some of the things I am dreaming of doing.

Just a note to end, Lucy did indeed stop crying after 41 minutes and I have hopes that this will lead to a better night. If not tonight then one very soon!



7 comments:

  1. I completely understand your frustration and exhaustion. My now 8-month old has 'just' started sleeping all night. She had the same "4-month-old sleep issue" too. But I can tell you it WILL pass. I know it's difficult, but the day will come when your baby will sleep!!

    I highly suggest checking out kellymom.com. It's an excellent resource for baby sleep, feeding, and other baby care questions with a focus on attachment parenting. It has certainly helped me!

    Take care!

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  2. Nicol, this shall pass..its hard to let them cry but when my boys were young I had to do it too..it gets easier..face it no one said being a parent was easy, lol.

    My two boys could not have been more different from each other, even as grown men they are still total opposites..

    Good luck
    Barb

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  3. I hope Lucy starts a better sleep schedule soon. I don't know how you survive on so little sleep... that amazes me!

    How's sweet Livy doing?

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  4. Lucy is starting to look like Livy everyday.

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  5. I think you are expecting way too much of yourself. I know it's hard to sit back for a bit when you are normally such a busy person, but to have a baby is a full time job, to have a baby and a toddler is quiet enough. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing to deal with - I can't cope with a day at work if I've been woken up by daughter a couple of times! Wait until you have enough sleep and energy before you embark on your projects. They can wait.

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  6. how are you going now Nicol? Hope things are a little settled. xx

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